Why am I so addicted to Facebook?

It may be because my friend, E-wat, had me out until 4:30 in the morning last night playing beer pong and flip cup as well as singing a little karaoke, but I really think that is just an excuse. I have done nothing today. Can there be an MTV True Life episode about Kelly, the Facebook Addict?

Hello. My name is Kelly the Hotelie and I am addicted to Facebook.com. I spend so much time searching profiles, browsing the pics, reading the funny little wall postings, and searching for people I think I know that it has gotten to the point where I need to openly admit that I have a sickness. My apartment gets pretty crappy online reception (if that is even a technical term) so it is on the weekends that I see my true NEED for this happy stalker website show its ugly self.

Last Saturday, my best work pen pal, J, and I decided around 10:30 p.m. that we would man-up and go out. By the time I had showered, picked out the outfit, and pretty-ed myself up, it was a little after midnight and I was heading downtown to her apt. with a couple 40s.

When I got there, I opened my beer, sat on the couch and low-and-behold, there is the damn facebook screen staring right at me on the coffee table. It had been an entire 12 hours since I got my last fix. My mouth dried up, my eyes dialated and my fingers went in for the kill. It felt so natural typing in my old Cornell email and cute, little password. I got the biggest high when the stupid blue "News" screen popped up and I could see who had friended who, who had added pictures, and who had posted on others' walls. I quickly pushed on my face and checked and see what people had written on my wall. Then, I jabbed for the "My Friends" tab to see who had recently updated. After pouring through the list and, of course, checking out all the modifications, I realized that I have a problem. Instead of watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, which let me tell you may be the worst movie ever (sorry Hotelie Blogger), on the big screen tube that J's room mate so wonderfully hooked us up with, I HAD to be on Facebook. Having this realization then caused me to freak out in my head so I clicked that little red "x" box glowing in the right hand corner.

I mean, what did I do before Facebook was created and I was still wait for a friend to finish getting ready? Perhaps I watched the Food Network, maybe I perused a gossip mag, maybe I actually talked to my friend while she got ready, but who knows?! When J finished her makeup, she came into the living room, grabbed a beer, sat on the couch, and opened the web browser on her little black lap top. Instantly, I was immersed in Facebook world again.

Did you see the photos of such and such's wedding? NO! Let me at 'em, man.

Did you see how much weight this person has gained since school? NO! How could I have missed that?

Did you know that Bobby isn't dating Susey anymore? Well, yes I did know that, but I didn't see the drunk wall postings he wrote to her wall just 1o minutes ago!

So, yeah, I am not gonna lie and I am not gonna hide it. I, Kelly the Hotelie, am a Facebook addict. Honestly, I have logged on to get my Facebook high 10 times already today. I have already seen that you changed your photo and I have looked at the pics from last nights drunken escipades. I have read your notes and your profiles and your wall postings. I am pretty much your stalker, but you better get used to it because chances are thousands of other people have done exactly the same thing. You wouldn't have a profile if you didn't want to be stalked. So feel safe knowing that I and everyone else in your fifty networks know everything there is to know and I really enjoy it that way.

there really never is a "just because"

About 9 months ago, I decided that I was a horrible blogger. I was not witty. I hardly ever actually posted a blog. I was too busy partying and my computer was broken. I knew that my blog would never be one of those blogs listed under "Cool New Blogs" or "Check These Out!" and I will admit, that at a time of weakness, I just quit my blog.

I am still probably going to be the worst blogger ever, but now there is method to my madness. Recently, I joined America's working population and finally, I understood why the punch lines in Office Space were so funny, why people went crazy over Sudoku, and why Dilbert is the way he is. It didn't take me long to realize that working at a desk all day, for five days a week was BORING. Within the first 20 minutes of beginning my job, I had found the daily crossword puzzle online. By Day 2, I installed aim and was talking to my friends every five minutes. By the end of Week 1, I had been on facebook.com more times than I had during the prior 2.5 years of my profile's existence.

In early September, I found myself sitting next to the new guy at work, we will call him D, basically because he doesn't even know I am writing about him. We got to talking and one day, he re-introduced me to the blogging world. I sat at my desk for a solid two hours, reading, laughing, commenting, and absolutely loving. Even though reading blogs had become my favorite way to waste time or "take a break", I was still not ready to look up my old "Kelly the Hotelie" blog. I knew that I just sucked too bad. And I was a little scared of the commitment all these other bloggers had to their blog lives.

Last week, I was reading blogs at my desk, laughing my head off (but trying to cover it with this hacking, snorty cough that I am pretty sure no one ever believes) and I decided to read my good friend Hotelie Blogger (http://hotelieblogger.blogspot.com, if you are interested). She was so funny and I decided I needed to be her; that it was my duty, as a friend, to entertain others who are as bored at work as I am. So, I will try to be as witty, saucey, and brainy as possible, but there are really no guarantees ;)

*Disclaimer: work is really not always boring. there are busy days and slow days, but blogging is a nice way to spend my lunch time.